A YOUNG girl went to a priest and confessed that she had incurred the sin of vanity.
'What makes you think that?'asked the Father confessor.
'Because every morning when i look into the mirror,I think how beautiful I am.'
'Never fear, my child', was the reassuring reply.'That isn't a sin, it's only a mistake'.

Three persons -- an American, an Englishman and a Sardarji were convicted in USA for murder; but they were given a choice -- to die by hanging, or electric chair or an AIDS injection.
The Englishman opted for the first, and he was hanged. The American said he did not want to die like the Englishman with his tongue sticking out and fighting for life for one or two hours. He opted for the electric chair and he died. The Sararji opted for the AIDS injection, so his trousers were pulled down, and he was given a big dose of AIDS injection in his bottom.
Soon after, the Sardarji was found jumping about, singing and laughing. On being asked what he so happy about, the sardarji replied, 'You people thought you were very clever giving me that injection but you did not realise that I was wearing a condom at the time!'

Today's Jokes

SANTA and Banta fell on bad days. Both had lost their jobs and did not know from where they would get their next meal.Let burgle Seth Ameer Chand house/ suggested Banta. He’s said to have lots of silver and gold jewellery.
The two managed to get into Seth's house after midnight. Santa packed up all the silver plates and cups. Accidentally a cup fell on the marble floor. Some members of the Seth's family wope up and shouted ,'kaun hai?' (Who is there?) Santa had the presence of mind to reply 'Meaoon'.
Their was silence. Santa put his loot in the bag and slipped out of the house into darkness. Banta contiued to look for other things in the Seth's house. Once again something slipped out of his hand and crashed on the marble floor. Once again came a loud voice demanding, 'Kaun hai?'
(Who is there?)
Banta replied,'Ek aur billi.'(This is another cat.)

Tasty Beginning

As part of the regimental Raising Day celebrations, a formal dinner was being organised in the officers' mess. Since some British ex-officers of the regiment were coming, it was decided that the menu should be an English one. The secretary, being a true son of the soil, not only could not quite understand the meaning of horsd' oeuvres, but found it rather difficult to pronounce. At a meeting to discuss the mess function, the commanding officer asked about the menu for the dinner. The mess secretary brought the house down by proudly announcing, 'Sir we shall began with the whore!'

A GENTLEMAN, very proud of his wit, while leaving for office used to say to his wife:
'Good-bye, Oh Mother of four!'
One morning, his wife, who had had enough, retorted: 'Ta, Ta! Father of two!'
That ended the husband's witticisms.

Light Delight

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw,

but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked

his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have

never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."While the boy and his father were

watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.

The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and

his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to

watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.The walls opened up again and a beautiful

24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother.

"To be happy with a man, you must understand him
a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a

woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

One morning a mother was trying to wake up her son. "Wake up now! It's time to go to school." "I

don't want to go to school," the son replied. His mother said, "Give me two reasons why you don't

want to go to school." "Okay. One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me." "Not good

enough," the mother replied. "Fine," the son said. "Then you give me two good reasons why I SHOULD

go to school." "One, you're 50 years old. Two, you're the principal of the school.


WONDER...This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward wher! e Patientsalways died in

the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m,regardless of their medical condition.This

puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something todo with the supernatural. No one

could solve the mystery as to why thedeaths took place at 11 AM.So a world-wide expert team was

constituted and they decided to go downto the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the

nextSunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the

ward to see for themselves.what the terrible phenomenon was all about..................Just when the

clock struck 11...and then......then.....then....and then....Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper,

entered the ward and Unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each
other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The

American asks if he would like to play a fun game.The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap,

so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.The American persists and

explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know

the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."Again, he declines and tries to get some

sleep.The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I

don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there

will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.The American asks the first question: "What's

the distance from the earth to the moon?"The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his

wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American."Okay," says the American, "your

turn".He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"The American,

puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his answer. He taps into the

air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.Frustrated,

he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and

hands him $500.The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.The American, who is

more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks,

"Well, what's the answer?"Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

Two Sardarjis, both student of I.I.T, Kanpur, were

talking about the American Astronauts. One said to

the other, "What's the big deal about going to the

moon-anybody can go to the moon. We are sardars

we will go direct to the sun." "But if we get within 13

million miles from the sun, we'll melt." And the first

answered, "So what, we'll go at night."